Change is Hard

Hey there, long time not hearing from me. Tell me about it!

These past couple months have been really different for me. I started this blog to have somewhere to confide in and people to relate to. So today i wanted to talk about where I am at currently in my life. I started this blog a few weeks ago, it has always been something I’ve thought about doing but didn’t go through with it until this year. I enjoy writing here but for the past week it has felt like I haven’t had the energy. Does anyone else ever just have where their body needs to recuperate but you can’t tell from what? I think there has been a lot going on on a spiritual level for me, I’m big into my higher self and tuning into that as I’ve always just skated through life not really knowing what I was going to do next or even having a plan. So when I learned about taking care of your higher self etc. it just clicked for me. I mean hell, even these past two years have been a whirlwind for my family as my wife came out as transgender and things have changed tremendously from there.

We’ve been together 7 years and some days I wonder what we thought from a day to day basis, we spent a lot of years denying the truth of who we are as people and not going out and discovering it. I mean we did have 3 kids in 4 years which may have something to do with it but I’ve always felt like a passenger in my life ever since I was small child and this year has really started to put some things into context for me as I can feel an energy shift happening. Maybe you do or don’t understand or relate but that is okay because we all work at our own pace. I ordered an item to start a new adventure which is coming today, not sure if it is a coincidence but it is 7/27 today & that is my lucky number, always has been. Maybe just maybe that is conformation for me that I am going in the right direction. I don’t want to say what I’m working on until I feel ready or until it is actually happening & not just something I’m working towards as I’ve had bad experiences previously in this type of situation. This is a tremendous change and is putting me in a very vulnerable and nerve-wracking place ultimately.

Naturally I like to be in control and have things figured out so lately I’ve been feeling so many emotions around such tremendous changes. I’ve never been one to care about what others think either so having some of those feelings coming back into my head space hasn’t been easy if I’m being honest. This change I am feeling and my partner is also on the same wavelength regarding change will be detrimental to our family life and to fulfill our life’s purpose while here on earth. Which is exactly why I’ve been struggling and extremely tired lately as there is so much going on in my head that it makes it hard to find the energy for anything. Have any of you had a time where your life basically did a full 180 in what path you were going down? How have you managed dealing with it? Has your life changed for better or for worse?

Even though I’ve been struggling and have been trying my best to get things moving along I still have to believe that whatever is at the end of this journey will be worth it and I will have learned many beautiful lessons when the next cycle comes around. I can feel it around me that I’m going in the direction of breaking a generational curse, I’m doing the unconventional way of things to better myself and my situation. I’d love to hear from you if you are struggling currently or have seen the greener side (or not so greener side) of things from taking a bittersweet leap in life to attempt to change it for the better! I just wanted to take some time to update my lovely readers if you come across my page and admittingly validate myself on how I’m feeling on a day to day basis.

Thank you for stopping by, until next time ❤

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