Out with the Old, In with the new! 💃

Hey there! 🤠
One foot in front of the other is what I’ve continuously had to tell myself on this journey of shedding old views and becoming my truest self. I have been slowly making these changes since August 2021 and I finally gained the courage and confidence to quit my job on April 8th, 2022 this year. Before I did that I started at my local strip club on March 27th, 2022. I emailed them at the beginning of March and the first day available was at the end of that month.

Meaning I had some time between amateur night and actually signing my contract. I used that time to prepare myself mentally, spiritually & emotionally for the leap I was going to continue to take. Some weeks felt like such a blur for me, I was sleeping so much and constantly going between trying to have a normal schedule, then to go to the total opposite schedule. I worked a couple Sundays 8pm-2am and would go into my 9am-5pm job afterwards on 4-5 hours of sleep. (So fun!) I worked at the club on Thursday April 7th, then went to sleep. When I woke up the next day at 7am I made the spur of the moment decision to text my boss I was quitting my job of 6 years at the bank.

It was only a matter of time before I quit, it was just that I was dragging it on because I’ve never not had a job that wasn’t a steady dependable income. Once I built the courage up I didn’t feel the need to go into the office to quit, I felt empowered and took my power back. The power that job has held over me and the way it confined me was no longer going to be a part of my life. It got me by for all those years but, it was time to become the me I’ve always been deep inside! I didn’t leave holding anything against the company or anyone there; I gave them well wishes and felt like such a weight had been lifted off me. I dropped my computers off the following Monday, but god damn it felt so good! 🖤

The old me would’ve been shaking in her boots scared shitless, riddled with anxiety of the next steps, talking myself out of it every chance I got. But NO! Not this me , this Alexis has found her way to be one with the universe. To let things present themselves as they do and to listen to my intuition. Doing ANY of this hasn’t been easy at all if I’m being honest, I’ve actually been struggling a lot but giving myself time to rest more which has helped me learn about myself tremendously. I’ve been putting in the work and can feel the tables starting to turn!

In total, always remember the universe has your back and will take care of you. You just have to be willing to put in the work on yourself and to be open to consistently getting uncomfortable. To always be listening, learning, creating, laughing and spreading love. We all have different walks in this life and that’s okay. That is the way it is supposed to be, we each have an individual impact to make no matter how big or small! 🦋

I am going to a topless club for a weekend next week so I will hopefully get back to y’all soon! Thanks for being here & thanks for always listening!

Until next time,

Alexis K 🖤


SD Winter Amateur Night!🤠

Hey Hey lovelies! ❤️

I’ll get right to it and say I did amateur night at my local strip club in mid January. I will tell you I did not win so if you expected this to be a story of me boasting about winning it is not.(We won’t get into that) This is a story of my experience, where I’m currently at and I will say it was a blast!! I would highly recommend trying it out at least once in your life. It was truly fun to be in & to watch the exotic dancers!

The event said 5:00pm so, I called to see what time to come if I wanted to sign up to dance and they said 7:00pm at the latest. I got there around then, was already ready so waited in the changing room in my sweats and a t shirt. They read the rules to us and had us write our stage name and songs we wanted. I eventually took my street clothes off, had my get up on under those & just had to put my heels on.

There was another gal there who crimped her hair, wore red and we bonded so we left the changing room together which was technically just a break room but that’s what they use for amateur night girlies. We went up to the bar, got an alcoholic drink and sat down at a table to scope out the place. I went back & forth basically the whole night getting drinks, mingling, touching up, dancing, etc. All while being heavily stared at the whole time which was great for me because I needed this experience to prepare myself for my future self.

Anyways, I danced 4th and we determined that by drawing names out of a bowl. I don’t feel like I did my absolute best as I drank more then I should’ve, but this was my first time ever dancing in front of a huge audience. The light on the stage felt like it was being etched into my soul, of course I got nervous and had a hard time interacting with the customers. I did get cheers and heard someone say, “take it off baby!” but I was too stuck in my head. I should also mention I fell going into the bathroom because someone puked when amateur #1 just came out to dance causing the floor to be wet. When I fell, I hurt my ankle and bruised my knees up to the point of debating my life choices I swear. I didn’t let that hold me back though, I was still getting my happy ass up there regardless.

There were maybe 16-18 girls who signed up that night and we started around 9:30pm. Stage sets were being done before we went on & after by the actual exotic dancers at the establishment. Shortly after I got off stage I had two guys hand me some money and say I was the best and I was the winner in their book. (So sweet!) I made around 100$ when I went on stage which was a nice treat I wasn’t expecting! If you’re debating doing an amateur night or putting yourself out there.. here is your sign to GO FUCKING DO IT! You are a BOSS!

Thanks so much for being here & following me y’all! Until next time ❤️


“That is just how it is”


Today’s post really hits home for me. As you know i am pansexual and my partner is transgender. Since i’ve actually started to allow myself to be a part of the LGBTQIA community it has really opened up my eyes and changed me on a soul level as a person. I’ve been able to recognize when others haven’t been through something similar so they put the label on it as that’s just how people are or that is just how the world works. I mean Is it just me and my partner or are you hearing this all the time too? Which makes you take a step back like, while if that is just how the world works or how people are then how will our world ever change and grow?

Exactly, it won’t. If we give all of these justifications for people and don’t call them out on their shit then they will go through life on auto pilot never allowing change into their being. I’m just mortified at the way people treat others and the way we as a society shove it under the rug just so we don’t have to deal with it or so we don’t have to feel the shitty parts in life. Now I do recognize that there are millions of people everyday going through a thousand different things but the one thing I think we could all agree on is that you should be treating others with the kindness you wish to receive. To give each other respect and understanding all the time because you never know when you will be the one coming to a rock and a hard place. I believe we as humans are never meant to stay the same people forever, that we are meant to grow and make small etched changes into the way the world works and continues to grow for our future generations.

If we aren’t trying to make that change, loving people for who they truly are or just being open and kind to others then what the hell are we doing?? I don’t know about you but, I can’t live my life knowing I did absolutely nothing to impact others, that I never worked on myself, never put myself out there and made myself vulnerable in hopes that it will be a small step to change in the world, yourself and others. This has been going on for longer then i have been alive(of course!) but, I feel such a need to speak out about it and shed light on it. No one wants to be alone and we all want to surround ourselves with real people who love us but tearing down others just to get there sounds backwards to me. You aren’t going to keep anyone in your life that you constantly tear down or show no love to. So how do a lot of people think this is okay today, in god damn 2021?! How can someone expect to be loved but never have to be vulnerable or spread love to others?

It’s constant gossip about everyone else’s lives after gossip, I find no interest in those conversations they take a lot from me by just being there. I’ve lived my entire life just living it, taking the hits, the bad times, the good times but, I don’t think I’ve ever made someone feel so horrible about themselves as a person just so I could feel better. Sometimes i just wonder, what the hell are we doing?? Even if you have done this before, you can do better and be better; those mistakes and situations you regret don’t have to define who you are for the rest of your life. Everyone is capable of change you just have to be willing to continue through with it even when it gets hard and uncomfortable for you to do. When we get out of our comfort zone and get awkward that is when monumental, beautiful growth happens. I HAVE to believe we are better then this, we are better then the worst parts and the worst people of our society. Everyone has their own walk of life which is the way it is meant to be but to judge others who are on a journey to become their truest selves and to have no actual knowledge or feelings as to how these individuals feel.. Yet still feeling the need to bring them down because of your own circumstances in life is truly mind boggling.

You aren’t allowing your being out of your own personal prison you built for yourself in your mind, we are meant to change. WE ARE MEANT TO ACCEPT AND LOVE ALL HUMAN BEINGS AND WALKS OF LIFE. Be the change! You can’t stay inside your personal prison forever, eventually you will have enough and when that time comes wouldn’t you want to have a loving community by your side rather then a community that treats you like dirt for simply being your true self? What can we do to get more involved? What can we do to shape the people around us? I ask myself these questions every single day, if we don’t question our habits, our way of thinking etc. we aren’t really living at all! We are meant to grow to become the people we are destined to be, to right the wrongs of our ancestors, and to help the world grow and heal itself.

Some will say there’s too much damage to let go but letting go doesn’t mean you have to forgive, you can move one without forgiving too. Do what you need to do to allow yourself to heal, others around you will start to heal just being near you and generations of suffering will be able to heal too. Every single soul on earth has a purpose, why can’t we let each other fulfill that purpose by spreading love and kindness to help people reach that potential?? Does any one have another opinion or any thoughts as to how to stand together everyday to help one another? I’d love to hear some insight, I am always looking for more knowledge & understanding to the way other individuals think & what they’ve been through! There is no judgement here! ❤

I hope you’ve been initiated to look deeper, to start to realize how much potential you have inside yourself to offer . Even if it isn’t in this present moment it will stick with you in the back of your mind, you will flourish with all of your hard work and selflessness one day. Keep pushing, keep fighting for what you believe in, don’t give up & keep on keeping on!! I believe in a better tomorrow, Do you?

I took the leap, OMG!

Hello you beautiful people!

I’m seriously bursting with excitement to tell you about my newest endeavor that I’ve been working towards since July 2021. Changing my mindset, questioning everything about myself and who I am, what I want out of life, dropping old habits to bring in new ones, eating healthier, really taking care of my physical self and exercise. I’ve been doing an entire clean reset mentally, physically and spiritually to begin to align with my true self. Now, honestly… this has been hell. What I’ve been working towards doing wasn’t’ something I’d ever considered before but, I was being drawn to it… pulled quite frankly. A loud voice nagging me and planting ideas in my head that kept me coming back to the same conclusion on which page I wanted to turn to when I was feeling overwhelmingly lost in life for too long.

My decision wasn’t going to be instant relief, I was going to have to work tooth and nail if I wanted to get to a place of accepting my true self, my reality and my true desires. I’ve been doing the work, some days not even remotely excited about it as others but, this is all new territory and getting uncomfortable in life is when the monumental moments and change happens. I was so fucking nervous to do this & I was quite frankly avoiding it while also trying to prepare myself for the couple weeks before I actually gained the courage. But here I am writing this hoping to share my experiences on this journey with all of you so let’s get to the juicy part! I went into my local Strip Club & asked for job!!

Now, I’m going to give you some backstory and explain it in more depth so you can feel like you were right there! It was Friday December 17th, I had put off going to the strip club for a couple weeks prior and had this urge in my body that today was the day that I had to do it. I’ve been so nervous to do this and then this particular day i’m feeling more confident in myself, like a feeling of being grounded and guided but knowing you’re in the right place and everything is happening exactly as it was supposed to?? It was so surreal, I could barely even believe i stepped foot into my local strip club to ask for a job. It was around 6pm when my wife and I headed out the door to run an errand, grab some food, stop by the strip club and then go pick up the kids from my mom.

As we were getting food I was starting to sweat, starting to overthink and had a tiny little voice telling myself I don’t want to do this. But a part of me knew I have no choice but to do this, I’ve been planning this for months. We parked in the extra parking lot to the joint and I fixed myself up, made sure I looked okay at least 10 times I swear. I was so damn nervous but so fucking calm at the same time it wasn’t even funny. It was like I was in my body doing these things but also not in my body at the same damn time. I walk up the sidewalk, it is a cold night and I’m wearing a red crop top, with black leggings, a whitewash jean jacket and 3 1/2-inch heels.

I walk into the door go down the hallway and it opens up to a T stage with one girl to the left and a few guys at the bar. I walked up to an older man and asked where the restroom was because I was not feeling very confident at this point. I go to the bathroom look my ass in the mirror and say to myself; You got this. This may not be what you feel like you exactly want right now but this is where you are meant to be. You can feel it in your being, in your entire body the insane amount of calmness underneath the fear. You get out there and ask for a damn job that you will be insanely fucking amazing at. So, I rolled my shoulders back, fixed my hair, smacked my lips and walked my ass out back onto the floor to do what I came to do.

I walk up to the bar right next to two exotic dancers and ask the bartender if there is someone I can talk to about employment. He says yes what’s your name etc. and brings an older shorter gentleman who came up to me asked my name, what position I was interested and asked that I come back around 8:00pm. I go back at 8:00pm and both managers bring me to the back office to talk about why I want the job and when I’m looking to start etc. He recommended I start on amateur night to win some money, or I can audition after he calls me early January once their new contracts come out and new management is in the building. (Coincidence, right?) I wasn’t the happiest I had to come back but it was worth it as I was able to see more customers in there in action and I also felt even more confident since I had already been in there originally. Might I also add that the managers seriously both had the look of amazement in their eyes like a present was just randomly dropped in their lap. LOL

Anyways, I also asked about resources for shoes etc. and he said he would point me in the right direction, but I might indulge into that stuff ahead of time since I do have a pole installed at home to practice. I anticipated the shit out of this, and it was over within a blink it felt like. So, now I wait until I receive a phone call or decide to do amateur night but either way, I took the leap I needed to do to get my path rolling in the right direction. You may not resonate and hold different opinions on this line of work & that is completely okay. This is the path I’ve come to spiritually, mentally and emotionally and know this is what I am meant to be doing. My life has been nothing but curveballs & I’m actually fucking excited to start this journey guys! Can’t wait to let you know how this goes & for you to follow me on this new endeavor!

Thank you all, until we talk again ❤

Question your perspective!

Well hey there beautiful people,

As I’m sitting here writing after I haven’t written anything in what feels like forever I have come to the realization that I made this blog to be able to write freely and for some reason it has felt like it has become another chore. So, this post might look a little different but I feel like that is okay. My true intentions from the beginning of this blog was to write from my heart and to write about real time things happening in my life. This is supposed to be an outlet not another chore on my to do list so, here we go be sure to tune in my friends!

As you know my wife is transgender (MTF) and we have been together for 7 years, she came out about 2 years ago. Our relationship before her transition was full of love and the one thing we knew was that we wanted to be with each other. We were so young when we got married and had a lot of learning to do! She was a very angry individual and had a really hard time handling her emotions which I have eventually come to understand why since she came out to me. She was holding on to years of emotions and suppressing the largest part of herself. In fact, so was I. Sometimes I sit here and wonder how we made it so far for 5 years while we were both completely oblivious of who we truly were? Maybe I will chalk that up to self loathing and not looking deeper into our own and one another’s hearts. We were tolerating who we were and expecting to never have to change, maybe. I of course don’t regret the time we’ve spent together or the wonderful children we welcomed into our family but it is pure curiosity for me to think back on those years. Wondering how I lived so oblivious to everything surrounding me for so long and in such a routine that I wasn’t allowing myself to really be self aware.

This year has honestly felt like a repeat year for us, similar events were taking place like the year we had our first baby. When that thought entered my mind it stuck with me and has continued to stick with me everyday since. We were beginning to awaken; if it wasn’t for my wife transitioning I don’t’ know that we would even be where we are at today. It has allowed us to be vulnerable and to start to learn to be our truest selves together, to take this journey with one another. Each day this year I have started to feel more in tune with my body, my emotions and my surroundings. All because I recognized a small pattern that this year has felt almost like a repeat year, where we were reconnecting with old friends the same months and doing the same things as prior years before. It mad me feel like we deserved different, I NEEDED different in my life.. it was almost like a biological need inside myself and my wife for change after recognizing that little tid bit. Our emotions and reactions were even starting to look the same as years before, it felt like Deja vu but for many months, on repeat.

Slowly we started exposing ourselves, becoming more open to new experiences and new ways to live. We were finally in all of our 24 years of life allowing ourselves to become the beings our souls are meant to be and to walk the path our souls have longed for. Many of you may not know this but, my wife struggled to find a decent job for many years and the reasons were always different but at the same time the reasons were always the same. She recently got really sick and her tinnitus flared up, VERY bad. For almost two weeks straight she was in a deep depressive state wishing to die.. which is a crossroads she has been at many times before. (as well as myself) Yet, this was so much different then the last because she was at her wits end with the extra loud and incessant ringing in her ears. She yelled inside her mind while full blown balling that she just wants it to stop and in this moment she had the self realization of a lifetime.

At that moment, she told me she felt pressure release from the back of her head and the ringing started to subdue. It was still there but it was manageable again! She came to the realization of how long she had been self sabotaging herself by overly obsessing over everything that would go wrong in her life, over so many years. I am SO proud of her, I have been secretly hoping and waiting for this day all year! I came to this realization a few months after having our 3rd baby when i started to actually attempt to be open and loving into our new style of relationship. (& sex life of course!) We realized that it is all a matter of perspective, the saying “mind over matter” was given a whole new meaning to us in our minds. It was truly a beautiful thing! She was torturing herself by obsessing over everything going wrong when in reality we all have to make a choice everyday to be true to who we are, how we react to things, and what we let affect us etc.

This year has opened our eyes way the hell up! The ringing ended up being in a sick twisted way a new milestone for her in a new direction. Just as it has been the same for me this year , I have started to question every thought that happens in my mind. I ask myself why I think this way or why something makes me feel this way? What is the first memory I have of feeling this way? It has opened my eyes to a whole new perspective and way of life. I actually make a point to really realize and pay attention to the thoughts I have everyday. The way I think has been conditioned since I was a little girl based off of the events that have happened to me and my reactions to those situations. By me questioning these things I have allowed myself to recreate who I am today and who I want to be! It has allowed me to think outside of the box, to listen and acknowledge the signs I receive everyday showing me the way. Most of all, it has allowed my mind to stay open, to let go of the small things that I hold onto which only end up being a crumb in the broad spectrum of things.

It has allowed me to let go of constantly needing to control everything in my life and I’m no longer letting the smallest thing out of place derail me into a downward spiral. Since I’ve learned to actually live day by day and to let go I have found an amazing sense of peace and blind faith in the world. I have faith that everything will go as it is meant to and no matter what direction that is I will be okay, WE will be okay. We aren’t meant to know everything or understand everything, we are meant to live while we still have the years left. I am choosing to let my soul (& spirit guides!) guide me through this insane thing called life. I work my hardest for the direction I am going but, I also give in to what my higher self and the universe are telling me. All you have to do is PAY ATTENTION! There are signs all around us everyday, we hold the knowledge we so deeply crave about ourselves.. we just have to listen.

Staying open & listening has given me a sense of peace and freedom I never even knew was possible. I’m no longer busy controlling everything, worrying, stressing and making my mind run a million miles a minute. I am finally busy living and staying present in my own life! As awkward or as weird as I may feel about some of the changes I am making and will continue to make; I know in my heart they are necessary for my survival and my eternal happiness while on this earth. Are you questioning yourself? Are you questioning where certain behaviors or feelings have stemmed from your whole life? If not, I highly encourage you to! My life has started to unravel in so many ways my friends, I won’t act like this hasn’t been hard some days but I am just getting to reaping the benefits of tuning into my souls energy! I am scared as hell but I also have this burning excitement of what’s next, as long as your courage is a little bigger then your fear you can do anything! You manifest what your life will be like each day and who you will be take the leap, no matter what direction you go the universe will have your back even if it doesn’t feel like it all the time! ❤

Until next time my friends!

Upgrade your habits positively!

Hi friends,

I’ve got a little update from the last time I wrote! I’ve been feeling low energy for awhile and all of a sudden I just decided to get up and excercise even though I felt like shit. I just got up & did it. Afterwards I still felt like crap and now I was huffing and puffing in exhaustion. Tlhen, I kept doing it night after night and everyday seemed to get a little easier.

I didn’t recognize until tonight that I actually started to look forward to making a point of excercising everyday no matter how tired I was. I always thought I needed to feel good and always continued to use not feeling good as my excuse to not do the things I wanted. In 4 years I was pregnant 3 times and never tried too hard to excercise because I was consistently exhausted physically. But now, 9 months postpartum I have finally come to the point of wanting to take care of myself and to feel good in the things I do and how I present myself.

I took the leap and pushed through because I want better for myself and quite frankly I’m sick of my shit. I’ve grown so tired of feeling limited in many aspects of my life, so that isn’t what I’m doing anymore. I’m out of my element and it’s scary to make these changes yet deep down I can feel the energy of excitement slowly creeping in. I realized that I can’t continue to do the same things and expect change. I have to transform my mindset, upgrade my habits, be hopeful and consistent and to stay positive.

It all starts with me; It all starts with you. This is just one aspect of life I’ve started to transform and I’m ready to keep going to prove to myself that I can change anything I set my mind to. And guess what? So can you! What have you been putting off everyday? What have you been finding excuses not to do but you know you should? There is no limits, it is mind over matter. Whatever you do, things won’t change right that second! Your rewards will find you overtime but the best rewards will be what you change and build inside yourself!

Looking back you will not regret it, take the leap! What are you waiting for??

Until next time friends ❤️

Change is Hard

Hey there, long time not hearing from me. Tell me about it!

These past couple months have been really different for me. I started this blog to have somewhere to confide in and people to relate to. So today i wanted to talk about where I am at currently in my life. I started this blog a few weeks ago, it has always been something I’ve thought about doing but didn’t go through with it until this year. I enjoy writing here but for the past week it has felt like I haven’t had the energy. Does anyone else ever just have where their body needs to recuperate but you can’t tell from what? I think there has been a lot going on on a spiritual level for me, I’m big into my higher self and tuning into that as I’ve always just skated through life not really knowing what I was going to do next or even having a plan. So when I learned about taking care of your higher self etc. it just clicked for me. I mean hell, even these past two years have been a whirlwind for my family as my wife came out as transgender and things have changed tremendously from there.

We’ve been together 7 years and some days I wonder what we thought from a day to day basis, we spent a lot of years denying the truth of who we are as people and not going out and discovering it. I mean we did have 3 kids in 4 years which may have something to do with it but I’ve always felt like a passenger in my life ever since I was small child and this year has really started to put some things into context for me as I can feel an energy shift happening. Maybe you do or don’t understand or relate but that is okay because we all work at our own pace. I ordered an item to start a new adventure which is coming today, not sure if it is a coincidence but it is 7/27 today & that is my lucky number, always has been. Maybe just maybe that is conformation for me that I am going in the right direction. I don’t want to say what I’m working on until I feel ready or until it is actually happening & not just something I’m working towards as I’ve had bad experiences previously in this type of situation. This is a tremendous change and is putting me in a very vulnerable and nerve-wracking place ultimately.

Naturally I like to be in control and have things figured out so lately I’ve been feeling so many emotions around such tremendous changes. I’ve never been one to care about what others think either so having some of those feelings coming back into my head space hasn’t been easy if I’m being honest. This change I am feeling and my partner is also on the same wavelength regarding change will be detrimental to our family life and to fulfill our life’s purpose while here on earth. Which is exactly why I’ve been struggling and extremely tired lately as there is so much going on in my head that it makes it hard to find the energy for anything. Have any of you had a time where your life basically did a full 180 in what path you were going down? How have you managed dealing with it? Has your life changed for better or for worse?

Even though I’ve been struggling and have been trying my best to get things moving along I still have to believe that whatever is at the end of this journey will be worth it and I will have learned many beautiful lessons when the next cycle comes around. I can feel it around me that I’m going in the direction of breaking a generational curse, I’m doing the unconventional way of things to better myself and my situation. I’d love to hear from you if you are struggling currently or have seen the greener side (or not so greener side) of things from taking a bittersweet leap in life to attempt to change it for the better! I just wanted to take some time to update my lovely readers if you come across my page and admittingly validate myself on how I’m feeling on a day to day basis.

Thank you for stopping by, until next time ❤

Unbound yourself from society’s chains

Hey there!

Lately I have had a lot on my mind, it has been a very emotional time for myself and my family life. Do you ever just get those times where it feels like so much is going on and you just have such a high multitude of feelings flowing through your body that you can’t pin point what your feeling when your feeling it? Things feel like they are coming to a point where I’m just sick of everyone and everything, there isn’t one specific event causing me to feel like this. It just seems to be that I’m fed up with things and feeling a little disappointed in the people surrounding us. I couldn’t figure out what had me feeling this type of way until a conversation with my boss this morning that finally helped me click together what I’m so over dealing with.

I got a IM asking what I was doing for the extra 20 minutes I wasn’t at my desk from my lunch. Now it is a valid question but, what rubbed me wrong was I just recently moved up into a position with more responsibility only to be watched even more carefully? Almost like the 5 years in my previous position spoke nothing to the type of employee I am for this company? I grew tried of my previous position and wanted something new and exciting but it doesn’t feel that way to me right now. I’m feeling disappointment and I’m trying to understand and figure out why I feel this way. I feel like there is so much more out there and no matter what I do I constantly feel like society is forcing me to make myself small. My wife & I have recently started exploring other options for work and are starting to get serious & creative because we have grown so tired of people trying to force us down and contain us into a tiny mason jar.

You may or may not know that my wife is transgender, she has gone through job after job and now that her legal name and gender marker matches who she is on the inside no job will even give her a chance. She just recently told me she applied for 58 jobs and not a single one has extended an interview, it only went as far as a phone call to set a interview up with the end result just to be an excuse on why they have to call back. This is a REAL problem today, the more we research, look into it and speak to other transgender folk they have been and are currently dealing with the same thing too. Our society likes to make it seem like we have companies in the Midwest that are LGBTQIA (which we do have some so we are thankful for the ones who are sincere) but, we have a lot of companies who will claim that title but won’t truly be or their employees don’t reflect that policy. In which you can certainly tell when people just say they support it but actually don’t or struggle with it.

Then there are the jobs that do hire you if you are transgender but they are jobs that barely make ends meet, they aren’t a permanent solution for those souls that always strive for more. A lot of people think that just because those jobs hire transgender men and women that they aren’t suffering but in reality, they are. They are suffering horribly, not only do they have to deal with being in a body that doesn’t match the beautiful human being in the inside, they have to deal with people making them smaller. There is so many expenses just to become who they truly are and society just expects them to make ends meet with a retail job, like that is living? Being transgender isn’t a choice you make, this is who they are and who they’ve always been. They don’t transition because it will be fun, they transition because they have to.. to survive in this relentless world.

Now, there are plenty of people who suffer in this world in different aspects and i recognize this 100% but there is frankly not enough light shed on the topic of the workforce and being transgender. Society talks a big game but when put to the test they bring nothing to the table. Every time myself or my wife have talked to our loved ones or acquaintances about big opportunities they always make us feel more belittled. We throw out our creative ideas to make money and no one ever believes in you, I’ve never had this personally reciprocated until I met my wife. They shoot you down and look at you like you are ridiculous and insane, like you aren’t deserving of being successful in BIG ways. Like you will only ever survive if you work a 9-5 job, they paint this as your only option to be successful. We don’t want to be limited to this and we shouldn’t have to be. Just because others might be comfortable with staying where they are doesn’t mean we have to be? I don’t think we will ever stop thinking big because it feels like there are generations of history depending on us and weighing on our shoulders.

We deserve change, we deserve to be heard and seen, we deserve to be able to go about our days and not be labeled by our identities like it makes us criminals. It is as if hiring us is made out to be a crime? We want to make it big, so we can help other lgbtq individuals get out of this constant loop that keeps us in a small enough box to move but nothing else. We deserve more then this, we deserve to succeed just like any other human being on this planet. They try to justify that it is a good thing any job will even hire you at all like you, have no basic human qualities solely because you’ve discovered who you are and what will make you happy for the rest of your life. Mainly because they are so out of depth with who they are that they get uncomfortable but that is what drives change. Being uncomfortable is what shapes us into the beautiful soul we were meant to be.

I don’t know about you but we are tired of having to make ourselves smaller to make everyone else feel more comfortable. The little compassion and understanding that other people have for each other especially the LGBTQIA community makes me sick to my stomach. I LOVE seeing other individuals get out there and find things that make them happy in their own skin. There is an aura that flows freely off someone who is happy in their own skin, who doesn’t care about others opinions because they are here to make themselves proud. That aura is truly beautiful and those individuals are by far my favorite human beings to surround myself with! (which is also why it feels like they are so hard to come by now a days)I’m not sure if you resonate with this but if you do I’d love to hear your story or input! I can’t speak for everyone but, if you want to be heard I am here to listen ❤

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog today, I am sending those who need it love and healing light today! You deserve to shine in the most beautiful version of you everyday ❤

Are you taking care of you?

Hi there!

I’m feeling compelled to talk about self love and care today! I’ve personally been struggling with this for a long time but I have gotten to the point in my journey of self care where I’m recognizing the things I do already or new ways to continue to show myself self love to help heal me and help me be the mom I strive to be. I even just recently went to the doctor for a couple of bumps on my body and I had no idea what they were for awhile, one had even been there for at least a year, if not more. It showed up in the time I was pregnant and had two babies in two years which took a lot out of me mentally & physically so, I just kept putting it off.

Well I finally went in last week and my doctor told me one bump is sebaceous cyst that I can have cut out (yay!) at my earliest convenience. I may have minor scarring but yes, please take away the random red bump in the middle of my back. Well the other bump my doctor thinks is a Dermatofibroma which can be cut out as well but it was bigger so we did liquid nitrogen cryotherapy to see if it’d do anything and so far it seems like it has shrunk it smaller! Both are benign which was refreshing but, no answers as to why they occur. Which is almost more irritating personally for me, I like answers and why’s but with this situation I’ll just have to remind myself that not everything can be explained!

What I’m achieving to say to my readers here is that I had been putting off taking care of myself for so long because I felt like I never had time. But what I didn’t think to do was prioritize it to be important and make time for me, I wasn’t taking care of myself and I was causing myself more stress everyday because of it. Doing things for you to show yourself self love is so essential everyday, especially so you are not getting burnt out on this crazy thing called life. Which I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older is so easy to do! Am i right?

It doesn’t even have to be something crazy or that takes a long time. I work from home and I light a candle while I work which helps calm me and makes me more comfortable in my space. Or I read a motivational excerpt every morning after I wake up to start my day off right. I read a book I love or write in my blog to show myself some self love also! It can be very easy to do even if your options are limited, it is just a matter of the effort and thought you put into it! I even see shaving my legs as a form of self love solely because it makes me feel good. ❤️ Doing the simple things that make you feel good and daring to find those quirks of yours will help you flourish as a person and allow you to be whomever you are meant to be!

If your having trouble figuring out what makes you feel good, here is a list of examples that i have compiled for you:

Some of the things i name are maybe basic necessities but it doesn’t mean they don’t make you feel good which still counts in my opnion!

  • Shower
  • Cut your nails/Paint your nails/Get your nails done
  • Take a bath with a bath bomb or Epsom salt!
  • Light a candle or two 😉
  • Read a book
  • Write or start a gratitude journal
  • Get crafty (scrapbook, make something off Pinterest)
  • Photography
  • Shopping
  • Meditate
  • Listen to music
  • Put on your favorite outfit & go out
  • Dancing(a class or just simply dancing at home)
  • Exercise(at home or join a gym)
  • Swim
  • Go on a picnic,
  • Go to the park
  • Yoga
  • Enjoy some fresh air by opening a window or sitting outside drinking your favorite drink!
  • Cook or Bake
  • Face Mask
  • Try something on your bucket list or simply get out of your comfort zone!

And the list goes on, this is only a small portion of ideas i encourage you to try to look inside of yourself to determine what makes you happy! Whatever you decide to do I hope it helps you achieve all your goals and helps you feel better about your life because you are kickass! What you do for yourself & how full you fill up your cup will reflect back onto the people around you and you will be changing the world without even realizing it! It is never too late to adopt new practices and habits, you just have to be open to receive!

Until next time,

Alexis 🙂

What do YOU want out of your partnership?

Hi everyone,

Today i wanted to talk about intentions & communication in your partnership/marriage/relationship. Whatever you’ve got going on in your personal life and maybe it feels like you and your partner can’t seem to get on the same page lately. Well I’ve actually been dealing with the same thing which is why i want to talk about it. Being in a 7 year relationship of course has its perks but there’s more pent up & built up energy then if your just starting out in a romantic relationship with someone which i feel makes it even harder to communicate effectively. Every year my marriage goes on tangents in 2-3 month time frames of being sooo good and then getting rocky. I”m sure everyone could say the same for themselves as we all deal with our own personal obstacles in life on top of trying to maintain a partnership, kids etc.

Having disagreements in life are common but the way we communicate our feelings and what we do is what matters the most. I can say for example i’m going to change my attitude but without putting in the actual work & teaching your brain to think before you act or say something then nothing will change. You will keep playing the same broken record over and over again. You have to remember it is you and your partner against the difficulty, not you and your partner against one another. It is hard to let ourselves be vulnerable and bring down our walls but you chose to be in something romantic with this individual which could subconsciously mean you want to break down those walls you just haven’t found the might and willpower to do so.

I personally have spent to much of my life worrying, caring about others opinions and stressing over the little things. I’m on the train of being comfortable in who I am and my lifestyle. Honesty is the best policy, no matter how hard it can be to say things you never thought you’d be telling anyone or just to tell your feelings to this partner.. It is 100% worth it. Even if things don’t work out or it leads to more arguments you are being true to who you feel you are and being honest is the best thing you could ever do for yourself & that special someone in your life. Some people walk into our life and change it in astounding ways but sometimes they are meant to walk back out of our life too. There is always something to be learned from everyone you surround yourself with and people with whom you barely know at all that walk into your path, you just have to look for it.

Be open to receiving new information from others, to changing your ways, or just to simply be understanding of people and life in general. No matter what you do or say your life is on it’s path for a reason and even though it will be full of difficulties it will be full of happiness, love and laughter too. You have to be open & look out there to find it, mend what you have currently, walk away if it’s what is best for you even if it is heartbreaking. Be honest with who you are and you will make tremendous impacts on the people around you. I kind of got on a rampant here but, the point i’m trying to make is to question yourself on the things you do and say everyday. Ask your partner to speak up and help you change into the person you were meant to be.

My partner and I haven’t been able to get on the same page for a little while and you know what? That is okay, sometimes it takes just baring down and making it through the challenging times the best you can until the light starts to show. I personally am just getting there in my relationship where we are able to be more open about our desires, annoyances, feelings, all the good & hard stuff. It hasn’t been easy for as long as we’ve been together but it has always been worth it. Even when we aren’t on the best terms the love and attraction is still there it is just shadowed by the small or big things that have been bothering us. We usually take some time to ourselves until we feel ready to talk again, and when we aren’t heated we come back together to talk.

Now that doesn’t always work, sometimes it is deeper then that but that’s when a long conversation needs to be held to get to the deep stuff. If you or your partner aren’t interested in having long in depth conversations to discover more about one another then you might want to ponder what you personally want out of the relationship and your precious life. A relationship can only work if two parties are willing and want to make it work.

You can’t force people to want to try, they have to want to do that on their own. Communication is everything in any relationship and a lot of the disagreements or problems we as individuals have is because we keep making assumptions and miscommunicating which only makes the situation worse. If you want a partnership that you are proud to be in, you have to put in the work. It is much easier to walk away then to stay & fight, under the right circumstances of course! Sometimes we get so used to our routines and daily lives that we forget to question the things we do and what we actually want or desire out of life. I hope this post may help you get one baby step closer to the direction your going ❤️ What do you strive for? Feel free to comment, this is always a safe space! Until next time,

Alexis 😊